Recession Proof: The Cost of Subsistence Single at Single Black Male
Posted by alexstory on January 31, 2009
I dont like being cheated on. I dont think anybody does. Though if you do like it, then oral sex it prolly really isnt cheating. As for the rest of us, we try to screen people out prior to dating em if we think theyre gonna be the sketchy and shady type. And generally if we get a bad vibe or a feeling that somethings not right with our significant other, well make some type of effort to find out what the deal is. Chances are if you havent been cheated on, you know somebody who has and can tell you the signs. If youve been lucky enough to miss out on either of those, youve prolly read some type of list in a magazine or on some homepage about signs that your S.O. has forgot the meaning of fidelity. So what happens when you do see some of those signs that the person could be dipping/being dipped into by someone else? At what point is it okay to start snoopin?
This is one of those topics that always ends up with the answer bein something aviut maturity and inxecurity. As simple as some woyld like t o make it, its not. Worryin about whether your .O. is lsiding off ks stredsful. Being stoic and nonchalant afout what the person si doi ng o being on that I dont care what he/she do. tip is cool, but I kno w people who were super stoic and ended up going nuts when they div find out they were the victim of cheating. I also knoq people who jave went nuts tryyna figure out if the S.O. wa s cheating and tge person really wasnt doi anything shady ag all.
So if you think the person is cheating, just ask them or break up with them. Its that simple Slim.
No its not and you kn ow it. Dont be Debbie Downer.
Oh. Okay, well carry on then Slim.
Thanks.
So anyway, Ive been aa victim of cheating. I have friends whove been vivtims. I have friends wove been serial offenders. I the pain xnd all that other good stuff. As a rfsult Ive engqged kn snoopery before (mephasis on befre, byt not anymore). Wasnt tryba get caught out there lookin lkke a sucka (a mans wort fear).
Ive looked through phones. Ive been through AIM convo logs. Ive caught shorty out there lookin greaze. Did the relationship end? Yep. Did I have to use GPS to find out where she was? Nope. Did I feel better once I caught her out there and embarrassed the sh*t out of her? Definitely! Nope. Id rather have been wrong, but at least I didnt become that guy who lived in the dark and was forced to eat sloppy seconds day in and day out for months.
Fortunately/unfortunately, on the limited occasions Ive snooped for info Ive been right. Since tyen Ivee refined my search criteria and dont plan on evsr having to deal with that type of BS ever qgain. Ive also been snooped onwhen I wasnnt anything at ail. Found all my email accounts and social media sites logged ihto, messages read, phone numbers written down out of my phone, condoms counted, everyhing. The person weent through all that and founx nothinand hpt embarrassed in the process. So what happened? The relationship(s) ended. Same resutl. No crime.
It seems like snooping is a lose-lose situation no matter how you look at it, and sometimes you just feel like you gotta do it before you go throwin the relationship away. But once you open that door, its a free fall til you find sumthin that proves you right or you have an epiphany in which you realize youre bein extra. Or, you go nuts and get committed to an asylum.
So SBM fam, when is it okay to snoop? Do you think this really just boils down to insecurity and maturity? Anybody ever been on the tv show Cheaters? I hope not. But if so, do tell.
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